The Gloriously Fabulous Tracer Racer!
- authorjhulwood
- Feb 15, 2023
- 4 min read

Greetings from the bucket!
It is so nice to see you here. Let me introduce myself, my name is Tracer Racer and I am a black and white shorthair queen. Yes, I like to take a ride from time to time but don't get the wrong idea about me; I'm not lazy, I work for my room and board. What do I do? You ask.
To put it quite simply, I am my human's personal assistant. That's right, I take care of all the little things that he would otherwise miss. In fact, he couldn't live without me.
But, I'm getting ahead of myself. I think it only fair to you if I start at the beginning of my relationship with my human. It all started with him walking in through the doors of...
The Ottawa Humane Society for Unemployed Animals
There were many other cats there of all sizes and ages; mousers, barn cats, sedate emotional support cats, and even a few fancy aristocrat cats. There were also a lot of dogs, but you're not here to hear about them.
I remember that day quite clearly, though I was very young at the time. I watched him stop and look at several of the others before coming to stand facing me. He was kind and gentle and I knew instantly that I could willing care for him. He may not have known it at the time, but I saw clearly that what he really needed in his life was someone to watch over him, to tell him when it was time to do things around the house and keep track of his schedule for him.
How did I get my name?
That is a great question and the answer is simple. It actually began as a sort of joke between the humans. They called me Tracer after some fictional character on some game called Overwatch, but I rather liked the name. It suited me, so my human kindly gave me a last name to go with it which turned out to be Racer. So, I became Tracer Racer.
Now, my human also has several pet names for me such as; The Cute, The Cutest of Cutes, and The Sweetest of Sweets. All are fine with me because he means well, but they hardly express the dignity that my full name does. Tracer Racer is a name that makes me feel powerful and appreciated.

A fit body, a fit mind...
At some point after taking the position and entering my new home, though I can't recall exactly how soon after, I came to the conclusion that if I was to do my job efficiently, I must get proper exercise. A flabby body produces a dull mind, but an actively fit body brings a sharpness to the mind that is unparalleled.
I decided that what I needed to do was use the treadmill a bit each day in order to stay on top of things, and before long my human noticed and was kind enough to purchase a specially designed wheel just for cats. I really do appreciate him doing that and use it whenever I feel the need, but I want him to see me using it so that he will know how much I do appreciate it, therefore I make sure he's watching before and during my workouts. I don't want him to think that he's wasted good money on me. I am not ungrateful.
My Duties...
As my human's personal assistant it is my job to make sure that he knows when different things around the house need to be done.
For instance, when the Coke products on the pantry shelf are running low and must be replaced. He doesn't always know this and it's up to me to jump up onto the shelf and meow. This gains his attention and he then knows that it's time to restock the beverages.
Then there is the refrigerator. For reasons that are beyond my understanding, this kitchen appliance frequently refuses to stop defrosting and must be reset. When that happens, I find it necessary to draw his attention to it by standing in front of it. I must yell at him here as well to gain his attention so that he will tend to it. It is quite the nuisance if you ask me, but no one has asked my opinion.
The most important of my duties, however, is making sure that my human remembers to eat. Now, I am not food motivated myself, so I get it, but even I know when I must refuel. My human, however, often doesn't and that worries me. I know that he must be hungry and so I make a point to gain his attention away from his distraction and make plain my concerns. He then does eat something, and I am able to relax and focus on other things that require my attention.
What would he do without me? (eye roll)

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